Landed but not Grounded
The year 2025 will be one I remember as one of chaos. Some of that chaos was self-created, and some has been imposed by the times we are in. Admittedly, the self-created chaos really is better described as adventure, but adventure, which is expected to be exciting, would not be so without some level of that chaos that is characterized by a mostly bounded uncertainty. The imposed chaos on the other hand has been exciting for sure, in the way that hitting a patch of black ice on the highway at high speed is exciting, but this chaos, a less bounded uncertainty that has been frightening, stressful, and has consumed lots of attention, is not what I had envisioned as being part of my retired life.
The self-imposed-chaos side of the coin was dominated by our nomadic RV traveling. Seeing and experiencing other parts of the country is a great thing to do, but dealing with the logistics of travel - route planning, campground reservations, camper & truck maintenance, replenishment of food and household supplies - creates a level of chaos that cannot be avoided. It was a choice we accepted.
As to the externally imposed chaos, there were three major contributors: My heart condition, our early abandonment of RV life, and the fascist takeover of our government. My heart condition ultimately did not create as much stress and chaos as it could have; and the early abandonment of RV life was something that Kristin and I had considered as a possibility, so the chaos it created was more around adjusting to the activities it required rather than adjusting our mindsets.
The fascist takeover however has been something different, and it continues to be impactful for us. We began getting involved in resistance work pretty quickly after the presidential inauguration, and became more and more immersed as time went on. The nature of resistance is that its ultimate effectiveness cannot be determined. And the nature of fascism is that, because we are resisting the fascist takeover, we can't be confident about our safety and security. Simply put, we are at higher risk of something bad happening, which means we have to make decisions - or avoid making decisions - with that in mind. This is chaos.
All of this is just to say that for these and other reasons, I have not yet fully adjusted my mindset from being a wandering traveler to a stationary landed homeowner in a place I thought I'd never call home again. Nothing right now feels entirely stable. And I expect that this feeling will continue, due to the ongoing chaos in our world, at least through this year if not for longer.